Courtship, Dating, and Falling in Love

So… I asked my friend a few questions about love, and expounded some of her answers. Here it is! šŸ˜‰
Q: What do you think is the perfect time to fall in love?
A: “Di ko alam”
I do believe that weĀ cannot know/tell when would be thatĀ perfect timeĀ is. But I think, falling inĀ love is not just based on fate and faith. It’s also based on you, us: on how ready we are. Sometimes I think that falling in love is spontaneous, but it is also somehow planned. ‘Cause we don’t usually notice it but we open our hearts to the idea of love when we are ready; when we feel that we can now handle emotions/feelings; and we fall in love when we think that it’s the perfect time to do so. I know it’s complicated and messed up, but that’s how love goes. If I were to give you a concrete answer to the question, I would say that the perfect time to fall in love is when you’ve already loved yourself enough for you to love others as well.
Q: How will you know na love na talaga yun?
A: “You will know na love na talaga yun kapag kahit parang ayaw mo na, there’s something in you na nakikipagtalo pa..? Na gusto pa rin kahit may hardships na.”
Love means dealing with all the hardships, trials, and whatever it is that comes to your way. And if you’re not committed enough, love will fail. So, if you want to know or make sure that you really are experiencing love, then you have to reflect on how willing both of you are to just go through whatever, and how bad you want for the both of you to end up with each other despite of all the hardships. A real love doesn’t give up easily and it just keeps on being stronger than ever every time you overcome a “mountain”. It’s really love when it keeps on pulling you back and making you want to stay regardless of how crooked the path may be.
Q: For you, what is the importance of courtship?
A: “When you say courtship kasi, that’s the 2nd part na. Yan na yung parang gf/bf. Ginagawa yun to know each other ng mas better ganun.”
Courtship is a very sensitive part of a relationship. It is where you both indulge in moments, and just pure “reality” of who you are and who the other person is. It is very crucial because this is where your attitudes come out: your views or perspectives, your routine, and everything that you are. It is very important because it kinda stirs up what would be prolonged, explored, or “expanded” during your relationship. It’s like a phase wherein we slowly learn to fully accept each other’s weaknesses, strengths, fears, pasts, and dreams.
Q: Are you okay with just dating?
A: “Dating is yung unang stage diba, yung walang label. So no, never ‘okay’ with that dating thing. Kasi nakakagulo. Hindi mo alam san ka lulugar.”
Dating is a “relationship” with no labels: just pure enjoyment of company. And I think, it shouldn’t be a “thing” and that it shouldn’t be encouraged because if love is just equal toĀ thatĀ then, for me, it is not deep at all. For me, dating is cheap and it has no clear ending. And in dating, you can change partners/dates ’cause you don’t have a commitment and that’s not what love is. Love is supposed to make you feel complete, and secured. If you’re going to engage yourself to dating, it’s going to be tough because you don’t know your place/position, your worth, or you don’t your importance. Dating is temporary, and it doesn’t have an ending: marriage.
Of everything in between,
Danielle. x

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