“Is he the one?” Checklist

Life happens pretty fast and along the journey, we’ll encounter tons of people who can make us feel special, and even make us think about settling down or being with them.
In this world of full of changes, instants, and “walang forever”, how will you know that he is the one?

 He has open ears. It is very important that he is a listener. I’ve read a book where the couple uses a listening stick when they are in an argument: one of them has to hold the stick while the other tells his/her thoughts. I’m not saying that both of you should go and buy a listening stick, but I want you to consider choosing a person who listens. Having someone who listens is pure gold. It’s not just about being able to rant to that person, but also being able to tell him what you really feel. Imagine if one day, a problem came up and both of you doesn’t know how to deal with it. If he doesn’t have an open ears, both of you will end up deciding based on what you personally want, and not based on what will be good for the both of you. Because someone who has an open ears paves the way for you to see things differently as well. (Proverbs 18:2)

 He looks at your heart. I know that we usually fall in love because of the looks but having someone who looks at your heart is different. After falling in love with him based on looks, we have to check next if he looks at your heart. This also means that he is supportive. Supportive with the things you love: he appreciates your dreams/plans and he wants to be in it. If you’re with someone who plans on his own, and who can’t put an effort to love the things you love as well (or just at least try to support you), then you might want to re-think if you’re with the right one. (1 Peter 3:3-4)

❏  He knows his priorities. A guy knows what he wants but a man knows his priorities. I know that being his girlfriend also means being his priority, but not his top priority. Girls, please, don’t think that everything revolves around you. If he supports you with your dreams/plans (slash he looks at your heart), then you should also be there to understand the rank of his priorities. Don’t ask or beg for more, be contented with what he can give. Remember that your goal is to end up with him, and that this relationship will work if both of you knows how to be patient and how to deal with life/reality. If you’re not his top priority, then it’s okay, as long as both of you can still keep up with what is happening between you and him then you’re still in the right path. (Proverbs 3:6, Ecclesiastes 6:1-3)

❏  He respects you. Uhm, duh? ‘Cause if you’re going to love a guy who doesn’t even know how to respect you, then how will you trust his ‘I love you’ or how will you entrust him your whole life? I don’t believe in getting to know somebody once you’re already married to them; it’s good that within the span of your boyfriend-girlfriend stage both of you shows each other the reality of your being. And by the word respect, I mean respects your decisions and respects you as a woman. In decisions — once you said “No.” then he’ll take it as a “No.”, no more buts or what ifs. In being a woman — he doesn’t rush into things that aren’t suppose to be done out of marriage; he’s in his right mind that everything is made beautiful in God’s time (Ecclesiastes 3:11).

❏  He pleases and pursues you. Get you a man who can love you for the rest of your life. Yes, there will be dark days and hard times but if he’s the right one, then those phases will be very very worth it. Just because you said “Yes.” to him that doesn’t mean he has to stop pleasing and pursuing you. However, don’t be too focused on getting much from him; you must also remember that he’s a human-being too, and that you’re in a relationship — which works if two persons are totally involved and willing to pull through stuff. Don’t forget that you are God’s and your dad’s princess, if they loved you since the day you were born [or even before you were in your mother’s womb (Jeremiah 1:5)] then he should also adopt the reality and accept the challenge to love you until God knows when.

If he’s the right one, then he’ll surpass Ed Sheeran’s vow, “Darling, I will be loving you ’till we’re 70.”. Keep in mind that he will never be perfect but if he’s the one, … then he’s the one. This checklist shouldn’t be your full basis, but a guide into knowing if the guy you’re praying for or if the guy who you think God is throwing into your life is the right one. Again, your future guy shouldn’t be bounded in this checklist, it is still up to you and up to the will of God. Okay? 😉

Of everything in between,
Danielle. x

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